Covenant of Right Relations

History

It was the fall of 2002. Our congregation was in a state of major transition after the recent retirement of our beloved minister, Rev. Richard Gilbert. Understandably, members felt a range of emotions including sadness, excitement, anxiety and enthusiasm to mention a few. How much of our old traditions would we honor? What new might we try? Many at church were having difficulty talking to friends and members with whom they had theological and philosophical differences. The lack of directness coupled with uncertainty about the future for our church, created a feeling of unease.

Our interim minister, Rev. David Keyes, knew of Covenants of Right Relations being created at other UU churches in transition. Two lay leaders, Joy Collins and Ellie Stauffer, at the request of the Transition Committee, ran a workshop in November, 2002. This half-day Saturday workshop on "Managing Change" was attended by over 50 church members. Using brainstorming and voting methods, the participants came up with a list for the covenant. A small group of volunteers from the workshop met several times over the next few weeks to polish this list into our Covenant of Right Relations. It was presented back to the congregation during January 2003. A poster size version was placed in our lobby for church members to sign, as a symbol of their willingness to abide by the new covenant.

Our Covenant

As a religious community, we support each other in our search for truth and right action. We remind ourselves of basic beliefs concerning ways to treat one another. We check our own responses to be sure we are showing respect to the person who may have a different perspective. We tap into our reservoirs of kindness and empathy as we speak and listen. We seek to make our generosity of spirit explicit.

In this time of transition in our religious community, I intend to:

1. Listen attentively, acknowledge others' views and try to imagine holding their opinions.
2. Refrain from judging other people's motives and opinions.
3. Seek accurate information, be willing to test my assumptions, and examine my own motives.
4. Communicate openly, directly, and honestly. I will go directly to a person with whom I disagree and share differences respectfully. If needed, I will use a third party to mediate.
5. Balance being open to new ideas and respecting our traditions.
6. Stay engaged. Be patient with myself, others, and the process of change.
7. Allow space for feelings and emotions - mine and others'.
8. Lighten up, let go of the trivial, and be willing to give and take.
9. Remind myself that we are all working for the shared goal of supporting our religious community.

---

August 31 2009